amozarkian

Hi all.

I feel so bad that this journal got neglected during my school quarter.  I spent time updating a blog I specifically created for chronicling my return to school and as such, this one fell by the wayside.  But, school is out for the quarter and I am back!  And back with me are some more wonderfully inspirational words from intelligent women to offer support and encouragement.

When you get to the end of your rope - tie a knot in it and hang on.  - Eleanor Roosevelt

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.  - Helen Keller

Life does not accommodate you, it shatters you.  It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better.  Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition.  - Florida Scott-Maxwell

We may not be able to change an outer circumstance, but we do have a choice in how we perceive it and react to it.  A positive attitude is a powerful thing.  - Hillary Carlip

You don't get to choose how you're going to die.  Or when.  You can only decide how you're going to live.  Now.  - Joan Baez

I hope these words give you a little confidence boost if you need one.  Have great weekends and remember to try to smile and laugh at least once a day - it's good for you!  Cheers!

Hi everyone.

I hope everyone had good weeks.  Mine was very, very challenging, but very educational as well.  This weekend is going to be very, very, very busy and so....I am posting some more inspiration for you, and myself.  Cheers!

     Nothing you learn, however wide of the mark it may appear at the time, however trivial, is ever wasted.  -Eleanor Roosevelt

           (I love Eleanor Roosevelt - that woman dropped so many priceless pieces of encouragement and inspiration - amazing!)

     Literacy means liberation.  -Septima Clark

            (Truer words were never spoken.  I cannot imagine not being literate and educated.  Without these things, you are truly at the mercy of whomever is in power at any given time - never a good thing to be.)

      Read all you can lay your hands on, from the label on the ketchup bottle to literature's masters.  The rewards of reading never diminish and continue forever to broaden your horizons and bring pleasure to your life.  -Helen Ganz

     The right way is not always the popular and easy way.  Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character.  -Margaret Chase Smith

             (Again, another very true and important piece of knowledge.  To have the courage to be yourself, to be true, and to stand up for what you believe in and know to be right - that's the meaning and purpose of life right there.)

     I would urge you to be as impudent as you dare.  BE BOLD, BE BOLD, BE BOLD.  -Susan Sontag

             (Sing it sister!  Sing it loud!)

     It is better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.  -Elizabeth Kenny

             (Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  Be brave!  Take chances!  Trailblaze!  Be unafraid!  Life is too short to be lived on the sidelines.  Get out there and play.  Roar!  Yell!  Scream!  Fight!  Live!  Breathe!)

I hope these little pieces of inspiration bring a little brightness and food for thought to your lives.  Have great weekends everyone!  Cheers!

I have a few writing assignments that I am working on for school this week.  Week one was kind of a quiet introduction to the return to college.  Week two seems to be the removal of the training wheels and full steam ahead.  :)  Sometimes when I am having serious writer's block and I cannot find the words, I look to the words of others for inspiration.  As such, here are some wonderful words of wisdom from some awesome and inspiring women:

    It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them.  They went out and happened to things.  -Elinor Goulding Smith

    So whatever you want to do, just do it.  Do not worry about making a fool of yourself.  Making a damn fool of yourself is absolutely essential.  And you will have a great time.  -Gloria Steinem

    I believe I'm here to speak my truth and that's all I have to do.  I don't have to make people understand it; I don't have to make them agree, I just have to speak the truth.  -Anne Wilson Schaef

    I speak without reservation from what I know and who I am.  -Ani DiFranco

    For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change.  Their articulation represents a complete, lived experience.  -Ingrid Bengis

I hope if you are in need of some inspiration this week, these words can help provide some for you.  Especially for me, with entering into a new situation where there will be people challenging me, my thoughts, my beliefs, and my writing, I find these quotes especially helpful in keeping me centered and on track for being the person I want to be. 

Greetings!  My classes have begun, so posting will be a little more hit-and-miss while I get used to my scheduling.  I don't know about you, but life for me is a little complicated at the moment.  When things get crazy or complicated for me, I tend to find strength and support in the words of other strong women.  So....the first thing I am going to share with you is a poem:

     Looking In Is Looking Out Is Looking In

     Once you accept your
     uniqueness and see it as
     something special, you can
     respect the differences
     in others.  A deep love
     of self empowers you to
     excel and gives you
     the ability to focus on the
     needs of others.

             -Jeanne Moutoussanj-Ashe

A bright point to today - Vermont Legalizes Gay Marriage:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30089125/  Another happy victory for my rainbow brothers and sisters.  Four down, 46 to go!

And now, for some inspiring words from some kick-ass women:

     Can you imagine what would happen if girls took all the energy they spend worrying about their image and put it into painting, writing, theorizing, science or sports?  -Joan Jacobs Brumberg

     If more of us would say, "This is my body - deal with it," the idea that there's a right size for breasts, or anything else, would evaporate.  -Donna Lou Bush

     In writing, in art, personal expression is what people want.  Women are taught to hide that, to fit the mold, to be chameleons.  But people want to see who you are, what you're about.  -Lynda Pearson

     Don't always follow the crowd, especially if they are going the wrong way.  -Lenore Jackson

     Jump into the middle of things, get your hands dirty, fall flat on your face and then reach for the stars.  -Joan L. Curtis

     Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.  To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.  -Helen Keller

     I've stayed in the front yard all my life.  I want a peek at the back where it's rough and untended and hungry weed grows.  -Gwendolyn Brooks

     Life is like a bus:  you can get on and go somewhere or you can just sit there and watch it pass you by.  -Debbie Tsai, 15

     Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure.  You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively.  -Eleanor Roosevelt

     The body achieves what the mind believes.  -Amy Fuller

     To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality.  -Anita Roddick

I hope you all have rocking weeks and I will be back with more inspiration soon.  :)  Cheers!

Yet another post inspired by the book Girlwise: How to be Confident, Capable, Cool, and In Control, by Julia Devillers.

I just really liked this entry and what it talks about.  Good ideas for all women, no matter what age you are.  I still find it hard to believe that such a great book is out there for young girls and I wish I’d had it!  Sometimes I think this book should be required reading.  The information from the book is indented; my comments are in italicized parenthesis after each book point.

Be Your Own Best Friend

Date Yourself

Do for yourself the nice things you’d do for a guy you really wanted to make fall in love with you.  Buy yourself thoughtful gifts (like a beautiful book of poetry or an adorable pedicure set); bake yourself your favorite goodie; take yourself places you’ve always wanted to go. (Who cares if no one but you wants to go to the Museum of Natural History?  Go solo!  Can you imagine better company?)

(I know a lot of women my age who still won’t go anywhere alone.  They won’t eat out alone, won’t go to the movies alone, just….won’t go anywhere alone.  I’m all for being a people person, but that kind of smacks of co-dependence to me.  Personally, I love my own company.  I can go see a dorky movie and not be embarrassed.  I can go somewhere and order what I want to eat and enjoy it without having to keep up conversation or worry about what anyone else thinks.  I can go places on my own that only I want to go.  And I love just taking long drives on my own with good music and my own thoughts.  Don’t be afraid of being alone.  It’s not scary, and it helps combat the theory that you have to have someone else in your life to be complete.  This is especially important if that someone else is not a good person, but you’d rather have them than be alone.  You’re worth more than that – treat yourself that way!)

               Indulge Yourself

               Take at least one night every week and do something that’s totally all about you.

(Okay – wow! – this one again is good for women of all ages, especially mothers.  It’s important to remember that you are a complete human being, in and of yourself.  It’s great to be devoted to your family, so long as you don’t forget yourself in the process.  What happens when the kids are grown and on their own, or start pulling away as teenagers and doing their own things?  Are you prepared for that?  If you don’t have some idea of yourself as an individual, then what will you do with yourself without someone else to focus on?  Take one night a week and check in with yourself.  Find someone to watch the kids, or turn off the cell phone and just take some time for you.  Where are you in your goals?  How are you feeling?  Are there things you need to address or change to make things easier for yourself?  Time on your own to check in with you is important!  Make yourself a priority – one night a week for yourself won’t kill anyone!)

               Compliment Yourself

How much do we love it when someone tells us that our outfit looks great or that we have beautiful eyes, right?  Well, why wait until someone else makes your day?  Plant yourself love letters in your room, your locker, anywhere you can.  And create a big sign to hang on your bathroom or bedroom mirror that says, “Gosh, you are BEAUTIFUL!”

(I know I’m going to sound like a broken record here, but these ideas are not just good for young girls.  I think they are incredibly important for young girls, but also for us older gals too.  It’s important, especially in this society, to have a firm grasp on your own self-esteem.  We as women tend to tear ourselves and each other down so much.  Instead of snarping on what’s wrong with ourselves and others, what if we make a conscious decision to look for the good instead - the complimentary?  Try this – take one day and make sure that when you make eye contact with someone in line, at the bus stop, at work, at the gym, you find one thing about them you like and compliment them.  Not only will you make their day, but you might get a few nice compliments back.  And maybe they’ll pass some compliments on.  Isn’t this better than an internal monologue tearing someone else down because you feel insecure about the way you perceive yourself?  Self-esteem is a much better thing to share with others than hatred or self-doubt.)

               Inspire Yourself

               Read empowering stories about amazing women.  Women of strength. 

(I love to find new books by or about strong women.  I especially love to find books of quotes by women.  I find the words of other women, from other backgrounds, with other personal stories, inspiring to me as I write my own life tale.  With it being National Poetry Month, check out poems by Maya Angelou such as “Phenomenal Woman”, or poetry by Dorianne Laux (one of my personal faves), or Hannah Senesh, who was a martyr for Israel and a member of the British RAF.  These women and their stories can inspire you and alter your view on life.)

So....I took a little jaunt outside the other day when it was gorgeous out and took some pics of the yard and the dogs.  During which time, they decided to have one of their little puppy slap-fights.  Take a gander:

It usually starts when they have an audience to show off for.  One or the other will start trying to bite ankles.  From there, a full-on melee ensues:



I love how this one came out - showing Sabrina about to jump on Bandit:



More of the same - Sab always jumps on Bandit's back:



And then Bandit will pin her in the dirt:





Then Sab will jump on him some more:








Inevitably, the fun will come to a stand-still until one of them barks at the other to get things going again:



Sabrina loves to dodge Bandit.  He's about 7 years older than she is so - she's got him on speed:





And then she'll run a lap around the yard and they'll come back and crash into each other:



Bandit doesn't run - he waits for her to run her lap and then goes out to meet her:



The actual "fight" usually lasts about 10 minutes tops before either a) Sabrina gets distracted:



or b) Bandit gets worn out:



Of course, if they lose their audience, they call it quits right away.  It's no fun if they aren't showing off for someone.  Silly dogs!

I love me some Mae West!  That woman was awesome!!!!

"It's better to be looked over, than overlooked."

"A hard man is good to find."

"Men are my life, diamonds are my career!"

"When women go wrong, men go right after them!"

"When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before."

"When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better."

"Marriage is a great institution. I'm not ready for an institution."

"It's not the man in your life that counts. It's the life in your man."

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

"I believe in censorship. After all, I made a fortune out of it."

"I've seen Mae West without a stitch and she's all woman. No hermaphrodite could have bosoms... well, like two large melons." - Edith Head, debunking the rumor that Mae was actually a man

"I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign."

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."

"I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing."

"Don't marry a man to reform him that's what reform schools are for."

"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."

"I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it."

"It ain't sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any."

"Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is."

"Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere else".

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

"Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired."

"Sex is an emotion in motion."

"I do all my writing in bed; everybody knows I do my best work there."

"To err is human, but it feels divine."

"Few men know how to kiss well. Fortunately, I've always had time to teach them."

"I always save one boyfriend for a rainy day...and another in case it doesn't rain."

"Why don't you come sometime and see me? I'm home every evening...Come up, and I'll tell your fortune."

"I freely chose the kind of life I led because I was convinced that a woman has as much right as a man to live the way she does if she does no actual harm to society."

"The man I don't like doesn't exist."

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."

"It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it."

"I'm not good and tired, just tired."

Yet more wisdom from kick-ass females:

     Who I am inside determines how I feel about my body instead of the other way around. -Alanis Morissette
 
     Self-esteem isn't everything; it's just that there's nothing without it.  -Gloria Steinem

     Don't compromise yourself.  You are all you've got.  -Janis Joplin

     I am confident in myself because of what I do and who I am.  I can do marvelous things!  -Kaley Darga, age 12

     The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity.  -Ruby Dee

     We must claim our bodies as our own to love and honor in their infinite shapes and sizes.  Fat, thin, soft, hard, puckered, smooth, our bodies are our homes.  -Abra Fortune Chernik

So....whilst perusing Amazon.com and looking at various books, I came across a book called Girlwise: How to be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control by Julia Devillers.   In it is this little gem by Hillary Carlip called Seven Ways to Be the Real You.  The books I was looking at at the time on Amazon I just happened across.  They are geared toward teens and "tweens", but what I discovered when reading through some of them is that, as a woman, you can apply a LOT of this stuff to your everyday life as an adult!  Also - I freakin' wish this stuff had been around when I was young 'cuz, damn, I could have used the inspirational reinforcement!  So....here's the paraphrased Seven Ways to Be the Real You entry, with my comments in parenthesis.  You can read the original posted version either on Amazon, or buy the book http://www.amazon.com/GirlWise-Confident-Capable-Cool-Control/dp/0761563636/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238262151&sr=8-1. 

Seven Ways To Be The Real You

(1) Know that you matter.
      (I think this is an especially important thing to keep in mind just in general every day of your life.  If you don't believe that you matter, why should anyone else?)

(2) If you don't believe #1, then "fake it 'til you make it."  Keep telling yourself, "I matter," "I'm cool," and "I'm the best," until you feel it.  If you have total confidence in yourself, others will have it in you as well.
      (Again, this is completely and totally applicable in adult life.  Whether it's work, dating, family, friends, any situation - if you don't have faith and believe in yourself first, trying to add anyone else into the mix is a recipe for disaster.)

(3) Make a list of all your kick-ass qualities - what's unique about you.  There is only one you and that rocks!  Get how awesome you are.
      (Hmmm....okay....a list of my kick-ass qualities:  I'm smart.  I care fiercely about the people in my life.  I am extremely loyal.  I have great eyes.  I am tall.  I am strong.  I persevere.  I'm a survivor.  I tell the truth.  I live fully.  I'm creative.  I am consciously alive.)

(4) Then make a list of all the things you judge about yourself.  You know, the negative things you think others think and say about you.  Once you do that, then see how you can make those qualities cool things instead - just cuz you say so!  For instance, wear a t-shirt that says, "I'm Fat, So What?  Deal with it!"  Make stickers that say, "Proud to be a Dork."  Be those things with total conviction.  If you make them cool qualities, they will be!
      (God!  Again - where was this book when I was growing up??!!  I don't think there is a single female I know who doesn't tear themselves down at some point in time or another.  We hold ourselves up to unbelievably unrealistic standards and it makes for a great deal of unhappiness.  I think this is an excellent point for anyone to take the time to really focus on the way you tear yourself down and try to switch it around to ways to build yourself up.  It's never a bad time for a self-esteem booster shot!)

(5)  Find ways to express yourself - to show that what you have to say is important.  Go online and post on message boards, start a zine, write in a journal, do a scrapbook.  Be personal; be real.  Know you are helping and inspiring someone who reads what you write and realizes they are not alone!
       (Man!  Again - I wish I'd had this kind of positive reinforcement when I was a teenager!  Also, I wish the Internet had been as big a thing then as it is now.  In some ways, the Internet is a little dangerous, but in others, it's a great way to network, find people with common interests, and build friendships.  My self-expression was kind of stunted as a child, with the result that I seem to be catching up for lost time now embracing my inner creativity and self.  I find myself wishing a lot that I had started sooner listening to myself and my own inner voice and ignoring my detractors.  God it's hard to grow up!)

(6)  Write yourself the perfect love letter - the one you'd kill to receive from someone else - going on and on about how AMAZING you are.  Then mail it to yourself.  When you're feeling down, unconfident, or just plain crappy, take it out and read it. 
       (Okay....to this?  I just say DARE YA!  :)  Actually, I double-dog dare ya!  I know so many women friends going through tough times with spouses and boyfriends that could really use this exercise to their own benefit!  Do it y'all!)

(7)  Make one more list.  Answer the following questions (and others):  If there were no judgment from anyone else, no one to laugh at you, tease you, or make fun of you...

      What would you be?

      What would you do?

      How would you dress?

      Etc.

      Then, bit by bit, start moving toward the real you.  You can do it!
      (Wow!  Again, so applicable to many women's lives.  How would you answer those questions?  And, more importantly, are you living your best life now?  Are you who you want to be?  Are you where you want to be?  If not, why not?  What's holding you back?  And, more importantly, why are you letting it?)

Okay.....that's it for the Seven Ways....good ideas all of them I think.  And I really do find that as a *gulp* middle-aged woman *faint*, these things are still issues I deal with.  I have always tried my very best to live my truth as fully as possible, but we are none of us perfect and we all have trying days.  Maybe some of these exercises might help you through a tough day of yours.  And if you're a mom with a tween or teen girl, I'd seriously consider picking up this book for them and even reading through it and doing some of the exercises together.  What a great bonding experience as your daughter begins becoming a young woman!  And who better for her to learn from than you?

Sometimes you need a few words of wisdom to help see you through:

   The externals are simply so many props; everything we need is within us.  -Etty Hillesum

   We are not human beings trying to be spiritual.  We are spiritual beings trying to be human.  -Jacquelyn Small

   I've learned to take time for myself and to treat myself with a great deal of love and a great deal of respect 'cause I like me...I think I'm kind
   of cool.  -Whoopi Goldberg

   I feel beautiful whenever I think about my inner self.  -Nelly Hayatghaib, age 10

   When love begins with you, you no longer demand from others the love and sustenance you should give yourself.  -Susan L. Taylor

   Never bend your head.  Always hold it high.  Look the world straight in the eye.  -Helen Keller